Thursday, May 27, 2010

Get Over Yourself

It is SO easy sometimes to fall into the ridiculousness of vanity. Vanity is not just focusing on "Hey, I look good." Vanity is also "Dang, I look like crap" and then obsessing over it. After giving birth to three children in less than 4 years, there was just about no chance that I was going to emerge with no scars (I'm not Heidi Klum, after all). One c-section scar and innumerable stretch marks later, I look at my stomach and wonder what happened to my cute, flat belly. I know I will never see it again without some sort of surgical intervention, which hardly seems worth it. But before I allow myself to get too depressed about how I look, I remind myself of 2 things:

1.) For every stretch mark, new wrinkle, and gray hair, there are a thousand baby giggles and toothless grins. Each stretch mark is a reminder that I have grown and brought three new lives into the world, three lives that I wouldn't trade for anything.

2.) When we stand before the throne of Christ on that last day, it's not going to matter how many zits we had, or how flabby our belly was, or whether we fit into our pre-pregnancy jeans ever again. No, we won't even be thinking about that. We'll be too focused on how wretched we are standing before a perfect and glorious and all-powerful King. The only thing that will matter is whether or not we're covered by the blood of Jesus and can therefore say "I am not worthy of Heaven but by His grace and mercy in having chosen me to be His child."

Monday, May 24, 2010

Mentally Challenged

So, I'm pretty sure that all the people at Em's preschool think I'm completely inept. Ever since I had Drew, getting out of the house and doing ANYTHING is a challenge. Em's preschool likes to do special little events for the kids, especially now since it's the end of the year. These events have not gone particularly well for me:
Last Friday, they had a "summer birthdays" party at the park. This particular park has what they call a "Spray Ground"...it looks like a big mushroom and pours water everywhere. For some reason, in my brain, I thought it was more like a little sprinkler, so I thought "Oh, we don't need to bring anything!" WRONG! Em and Charlie were the only kids without bathing suits, towels, or sunscreen. Awesome.
While there, Em managed to walk off looking for me and I went looking for her all panicked, and the preschool teacher and other parents were helping me look for her. Cool - I'm the mom who lost her kid at a school function. (Things were made more difficult by the fact that the front wheel of the double stroller was locked, which I didn't know, so I thought it was broken and didn't use it, thereby making containing Charlie that much more difficult.)
Fast forward to today. There was an ice cream party for a few of the classes. Em doesn't normally have school on Mondays, so I went there specifically for this party. We got there, and it wasn't where it was supposed to be because of the rain, so I went to the front office to find out where it was. They told me it was downstairs...with the only ramp being all the way around the building. (Having to push a double stroller has made me much more aware of handicap access and its general lack in public facilities...) Anyway, we walk around the building, get to the set of doors and they're locked. There is no one there to open the doors, and frankly, I had no idea what to do. So, I left all three kids right outside the door and beat cheeks up the stairs, down the hallway, down the stairs, and down another hallway, just to get back to the door and have a couple of preschool teachers giving me nasty looks for abandoning my children. When I tried to explain that the doors were locked, they looked at me and said "Oh yeah, we don't unlock them until 11:30"...which is super awesome because the ice cream party started at 11:15.
Inside, the room was CRAMMED full of people, so the stroller naturally didn't fit in the room. I had to get Drew and Charlie out, and then try and get them maneuvered over to a table in the back. Charlie managed to run away while I was focused on Drew and one of the other moms caught her and brought her back (which is fortunate, or else I would have been the mom that lost 2 of her kids at a school function!). Em's teacher got her settled, which I really appreciated, and the mom who brought Charlie back was really helpful, but still...I felt like a moron.
So, to recap - pretty much everyone at Em's preschool thinks I'm a complete moron (which I'm starting to believe, too)...and I'm just a little bit discouraged about it. Sometimes, I don't know why I even bother. But I don't want Em to miss out on all the fun stuff just because it'd be easier for me.